Monday, December 29, 2008

Death is just one word...

Was it the choice of movies i had seen lately? Elizabethtown, by Cameron Crowe
about a guy who knew his father better,after his death. Or for that matter, Vinay Pathak starrer, Dasvidaniya - about "not just surviving" but actually living one's life. Could've also been the underlying theme of the play that i had seen in a long, long time. Frankly, i wasn't exactly expecting a bubblegum extravaganza at a play titled "When We Dead Awaken" at the recently concluded Delhi Ibsen Festival, directed by Ratan Thiyam. Now this one's about a now-dead guy who missed out on the small but beautiful moments in his life, while chasing a fruitless passion whilst he "thought" he was living. May be.
Also need to mention that, yes, i have been going off to sleep while my earphones sweetly implant by brain(or whatever's left of it after an evening with fellow "grass-hoppers") with lovely haunting acoustic ballads by Death Cab For Cutie. I really don't feel the need to explain what THEIR music is all about.*

Or may be it's just my death loving morbid self.

Ok, yes. i exaggerated. I'm not really the morbid types. And before all of you get judgemental and stuff, let me clarify that the first thing that strikes my mind while thinking about death, is NOT 'oh dear Tim Burton, what am i gonna wear for this funeral ?!'...i guess it's not someone dying, or U.S. induced genocide that gets me off (thinking), but more so, the idea of accepting death as something so natural yet potent even before it strikes; that's the kinda stuff i'm talking about.

Dunno about anyone else, but lately the idea of dying as a social experiment has crossed my mind...let's just say, more than once. The fact that it's i who's playing the roles of the mad professor, and the guinea pig, made me think again...and again,and again. The next best thing , and it comes to me quite naturally,was to just lie down on my dirty old mattress and scare the ceiling with my blank stares, pretending to be dead. I would imagine that i were an art loving zombie who could not smell the paint even while standing beneath the Cistine chapel, could not cry at an opera (mind you, living people cry at operas for lots of reasons, and not just because they wanna get the hell out of there), who couldn't raise his voice, but maybe just growl and drool a bit, against all the oppression thats out there; could never scream out "Aaaaahhhhhh!!" halfway through his first bungee jump, or halfway through actual orgasm. Kinda reminds me of the expression-less bunny in Andy Rileys line of cartoons strips called Bunny Suicides.

Governments, states, countries, countrymen today make news all over regarding freedom of speech, apparently because one blames the others for snatching it away. I think it's all about who actually is controlling the 'mute' button of our so called SOCIETY. What about the freedom of reaction? i know i sound crazy - i mean, apparently no such thing exists. may be not. But it sure means a hell lot when you're just lying there - undead.

At the risk of sounding preachy, let me just say that Life, no matter how much it sucks now, should be enjoyed.If you have a zombie self, listen to it once in a while. Learn to eat,sing,roam,fuck,smoke,drink like there's no tomorrow. learn to fight all those who try to bog you down( not 'ask you to go down' - i mean enjoy THAT obviously. that's different).

My Undead moments, i owe you guys big time.

*opening lines to a Death Cab For Cutie song -

Love of mine, someday you will die
I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark,.....

Sunday, March 9, 2008


"i wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,

you could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in..."

----- stephen jenkins (third eye blind).

lies?..what freakin' lies? can't we all suicidal folks just accept that truth is what scares us?

NO. don't answer. rhetorical question.

i've observed that the self proclaimed "victimised" people actually have lots of things to take into consideration before that final leap/sip/snort/ekta kapoor episode,etc. to make it a "perfect" one....and i ain't talkin' bout life threatening stuff like what the wind direction is, or what floor you're in,or what's the quality of bone china used for sipping, or what's the minimum payment on the credit card which you're using to sort the lines of coke....these people, quite simply put, "conundrum-ize"(ha ha, always wanted to use this word) themselves just at the last moment creating those "should-i-or-shouldn't-i" ideas in their heads.


So, what really stops us from making that "leap"? if you're expecting an answer, first name is not 'Agony' and i am SO not your 'aunt'. but then again, generosity while giving advice has always been my forte. if you're a working person, then i'm sure you are quite aware about the dreaded four letter word( starts with a 'b' and rhymes with 'moss')...and stop reading right here if you need a mentos to figure that out !!!...anyway - sorry i drifted away a bit there - coming back to that four letter word B-O-S-S, it really helps if you create such a situation for yourself where facing him/her would be worse than killing yourself. don't sweat your brain muscles too much on how to do that....just get totally slushed and leave a message on his answering machine telling him what you REALLY think about him..believe me, it works. saved me lots of valuable hours by not ever having to type resignation letters...surprisingly, everything just "happened" automatically or was "taken care of".

This option is also open to people who are dating the wrong person. except for few changes in the nomenclature, everything's the same.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Instead of breathing slowly and counting till ten...

just let it be,till the moment you just can't.
the world around you is merely a garden;
the people you know are no more than clay pigeons.
waiting to come in the way of your bullets with butterfly wings.
for now,just let it be...

Friday, January 25, 2008


I believe Charlie was right.Dunno about Chaplin or Brown, but Darwin surely was.

We have undergone changes to become what we are. We used to hunt to survive,using sharp stones and,my weapon of choice is a bunch of food coupons that are accepted at all the KFC's and McD's. We used to hunt in packs; now our social lives have been reduced to saying-hello-waving-goodbye( thank you David Gray), all within a span of two-three hours and TGIF. We used to skin animals to protect ourselves from the weather( we didn't really care about nudity back then...i guess we chose not to); and now we work our asses off throughout the month just so as to be able to afford that coveted pair of levis' or that "cool sweat shirt" from Benetton, not to mention, after discount.

If you have read so far( surprisingly!!),and you're still wondering where i'm going with all this comparisons, then let me give you one more comparison. Earlier people used to write stuff which either actually meant something to lots of other peple in their own respective ways; nowadays we just blog; ideas,intentions and motives can hold each others' hands and take tra-la-la hikes.

The truth is i'm totally confused. Started thinking about all this "change" crap because my personal life literally begged me to learn the art to adapting to change out of thin air.

How many of us have ever been chucked out of someone's life?? I was, and it doesn't feel good,does it? The first thought is obviously very tragic and unfortunately involves lots of questioning and sudden attacks of self're totally devastated and you're thinking "Oh my god !! what fucken life is this? what am i gonna do now?!"....and several other phylla of melodramatic expression,often making us wonder if we are related to the late nirupa roy(the universal mother of bollywood...just in case you don't remember). This proves that the worse your situation in life is, the lamer your attempts at being funny will be.A certain person i know would even go to the extent of saying in assamese,"Beya lage dei,kabaar karone!!"( which means 'i pity "someone" '!!!)...

Confucius say, taking too much pinch of salt give high pressure.So,here i go again,looking for spoons of sugar.This time it actually works. I guess it has something to do with "letting go" or(NOT 'of' ) crap like that. But if we compare our erstwhile-loved one to a bird, then it is better to let the bird fly away; if it returns,it'll be with us forever, and if it doesn't, it was never meant for us.See readers,sometimes i tend to make sense.
(P.S. philosophies are subject to change with arrival of hunting season.)

This blog is dedicated to all the girls who are ever so ready to break our hearts. And Mr.Charles Darwin.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

How the Germans won....

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....