Wednesday, December 26, 2012

A Shitty Morning

We live in really weird times. One of the first thoughts in my head, as I realize I'm headed for what looks like a break-up, is how I'll have to download break-up songs onto the iPod. Don't get me wrong - the situation is bad, but I'm also disgusted at knowing what I've turned into. A fast food-hogging, slow loading internet page of pop-culture references who has an mp3 (not song) up his sleeve for every fucken occasion.

Some habits, unlike hope, never leave us. While rushing out of her place, I see the neighbour's newspaper on his doormat. This is enough for the klepto in me. It's my copy now. The front page carries a full page ad about Vicco products. Suddenly, the song inside my head is "Vicco turmeric, nahin cosmetic.. Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream." Have you ever tried making sense of a shitty situation while trying to shake off an iconic pre-liberalization ad jingle from the late eighties? I have.

Vicco turmeric. Fucken asswipe.

Cold Delhi morning in December. Waiting for an auto-rickshaw. In winters, these fuckers should be called "freezing death traps".

Bhaiyya, how much would you charge to kill me every second till JNU main gate?

Just till the main gate? You don't want to get killed till inside?


Hmm, sir.. ninety rupees.

Yesterday someone killed me for just seventy. No, I won't pay ninety.

Yeah, something like that.

As the auto-driver picks up someone else, I realize I have stormed out in her chappals. The walk back to her flat is weird. I Go in. Change chappals. Storm out again. Only this time, there's no goodbye kiss.

Hopefully, we'll work things out.
But this morning cannot be shittier.

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